Along for the Ride!

When I first learned that I had breast cancer I created a list of things that I was certain that I did not want to do (chemotherapy was #1 on that list).  I wanted to have some control and the treatment aspect was very scary.  I am starting to realize the importance of not having many expectations and plans about my treatment because things change very rapidly and many times I have to trust what the doctors tell me.  It really feels like I am on a roller coaster...turning, twisting, and tossing...not really knowing where I am going next.  BUT I am strapped in...I am in good hands...and I feel safe.  I trust my doctors and my body and want to be aggressive and efficient at fighting this shit!

Last week was a pretty busy week in cancer treatment land.  On Wednesday, I had my port surgically implanted in my chest so that I do not have to have an IV started every time I do chemo and to protect my veins.  This was my first experience with surgery and it was very scary.  The nurses were really nice though and I was given some Versed (a drug that sort of paralyzes you and erases any anxiety or fear you may have) and the process in itself was actually pretty easy and painless.  My sisters were there so that was also nice and comforting!  Later that day at lunch, I got a phone call about the biopsies I had the week prior.  Got some bad news and good news...the good news is that my right breast is cancer free!  The bad news is that my left breast has two other small cancer tumors in it.  This was a WTF moment and I am glad that my sisters were with me.  I met with my oncologist on Thursday and he reassured me that the chemo is working and that my tumor is shrinking!!! He also told me that my left breast is faulty (I laughed) and that the additional tumors will not effect my prognosis but that I will likely now need a mastectomy to get rid of the faulty boob.  This was another item on the "I do not want to do" list!  Hence the importance of going along for the ride...